why i do what i do

Last night I was about to sleep and I had a thought that I didn't want to lose. A few minutes later I caught myself sketching some idea I had in my mind - half asleep, computer on my lap, notes app open, eyes barely open.

I don't want to fall in the same stuff that you can read from any other people who are passionate (obsessed) about its job. So, why am I writing this? What's the goal behind it if any? I'm writing this to explore these feelings, and perhaps to connect with others who feel the same way.

If you love what you do, the passion (obsession) to achieve your goals is massive and your state of happiness depends on it; you probably saw, read or heard a lot of people talk about it;

Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Walt Disney, and I can keep going until I probably name -almost- all the founders in the world. It's easy to say they loved what they did, but love alone doesn't explain the intensity. The constant pushing. That's not just passion. That's obsession.

Calling it passion is the socially acceptable word, but obsession is the accurate. Let me tell you why it matters for you and me. Because without obsession, it's too easy to quit, leave early or just don't do it. Passion is the "I love this, I want to do it!", obsession is more like "I cannot imagine my life not doing this".

You'll feel your obsession when something permeates every aspect of your life. It's there in all situations, or at least that's how you perceive it. It feels less like a choice and more like a necessity.

When the obsession is there, aligned with you, it gives you energy to do anything. You can achieve some stuff that you never thought you could achieve or even try.

Where does it come from? Well, being honest, it's not that clear for me. It could be curiosity, proving, fear of failure, or questioning the world. If you don't feel it yet, keep questioning your world, explore, try, fail, learn, and do it again. Maybe you find something that motivates you and the feeling of obsession will be there.

So, why do I do what I do? Because I can't not do it.